Solid water means you can enjoy hydration as a snack.

Trying to eat a pint of water after a workout sounds less refreshing than exhausting.

Cockroaches are tiny and can’t bite—they’re mostly just horrifying to look at.

Thousands will be in your hair within seconds.

Gliding above puddles, mud, and wet grass is a small but satisfying daily upgrade.

You still get stuck in traffic, can’t clear a fence, and will have to explain yourself every day.

Rats are a food source in many cultures, so you’re joining an existing culinary tradition.

You’re still sitting down to a plate of rat, and your brain will not let that slide quietly.

Burgers offer endless variety through toppings, keeping things fresher for longer.

A year of patties and bread gets exhausting pretty fast.

Breezing through a big stack of fun work barely feels like homework at all.

More work is still more work, and “fun” wears off faster than you’d think.

A two-hour window gives you plenty of time to excuse yourself and find a private corner.

You’ll spend every outing clocking the countdown and plotting your escape.

At least it’s music you love?

By month three you’ll have heard every song so many times you’ll start to hate both music and life.

A swamp is a whole living ecosystem, teeming with wildlife.

Telling people your name graces a swamp invites jokes forever.

Fur is basically a built-in blanket, making winter a cozy joy.

Summer becomes a sweaty ordeal, and every piece of furniture you own requires a lint roller.